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All I really want….

Wanting. Hundreds of thousands of songwriters continue to use this theme. It seems we all “want” something- presumably something we cannot have.

Our podcast – Sue West and Carol Williams of the Design Your Days Team- is about the “3rd W” of the W+W+W+H = Woo Hoo! Process (What, Why, Wants, and How)

Listen: what do you really WANT? or read on:

A friend introduced me to Alanis Morrissette’s  song “What I really want” a few years ago. And it reminds me of what we talk about …

The lyrics go something like this:

All I really want is some peace
a place to find a common ground
All I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice…

Wanting. It seems so selfish to WANT, doesn’t it? Yet, when we stop Wanting, we stop growing.

One person from a workshop WANTED to know “how to get back on track” with her intended tasks. This was expressed at the beginning. However, toward the end, it became clear that what she REALLY wanted was the time and space to PONDER what she wanted “next” in her life. In fact, both were applicable. But, how much more powerful is it to find the time and space to ponder your LIFE versus what’s right in front of you on your “to-do” list?

Since we all have to find our own way, here’s another approach. If you feel like: you don’t have time to ponder your life, or maybe your family isn’t supporting you, or you just don’t think of yourself as a dreamer, ponderer, creator, you can:

  • Keep track each day for about a week of what you love about your days, what you’re doing, who you’re doing it for, how healthy you feel – or how energetic, what mood you’re in as the days go along, what gives you energy and what takes it. Keep track right in your planner, on your iPhone – not in your head; it is more difficult to see patterns.
  • That’s a first step. Just notice. Become a little more aware of how your time is used. Keep doing this until you start to see some patterns emerge for things you want to change.
  • Tying this example back to our song lyrics, you’ll note that Alanis talks generally – she wants peace, common ground in her relationship, justice. She does not get specific. She talks about themes, feelings, and values. And behind those lyrics, she is saying what she knows she does not want, too.

One client I had went through a process of determining her Big Wants. I asked her to think about one big dreamy goal, that seemed almost “too big” to accomplish. She wrote it down. Then I asked her to find 3 small steps that pushed her just a LITTLE CLOSER to that goal. She did not do that right away. When she came back, she realized that she had the wrong Big Goal because she was Not Excited about that big goal anymore. She was an entrepreneur who wanted to hold a day long workshop. But she realized that actually, what she really wanted, was to spend more time with her family while earning the income she required and not necessarily any more. She determined what she REALLY wanted. Although it may sound trite, we must determine what we REALLY want before we can achieve it.

Did this help you in determining, like Alanis, “what you really want?”


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